i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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