what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
