Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
