I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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