apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
