So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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