Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
