I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize