Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My cat gives me a boner
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
