Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
