Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
