So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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