It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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