hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and she was petting her beer can
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
