I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
