I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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