Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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