she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
