Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
