Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
