i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
