I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
do nipples grow back?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
