Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
