I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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