Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
