So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
