so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wish you could order shots online.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
