God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
