Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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