My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
