He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
