Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
