I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
