he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
