dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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