just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
