Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
