champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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