I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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