he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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