I think my fart just growled at me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The power of my boobs compel you
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
