Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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