There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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