oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
