So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
