good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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