We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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