We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
