you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
