so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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