Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
